Wake up. Lie to my mom about what time I got home
Sit on the counter in the kitchen with Sophia. Lie about already eating
Driving with misha to the beach. Lie about why I have a doctors(therapy) appointment this afternoon
Sit on the beach with Misha. Lie about why I'm not eating.
Call my sister. Lie about my mintel illness
Going to therapy. Lie about food and the slip slide of emotions
Come home and avoid mom. Lie about doing my chores and calling my father
Lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie
And now I'm noticing even when I tell the truth, they're only half truths mixed together with a few white lies.
White lies. I tell a lot of those. their color doesn't make me feel any less guilty.
I suppose that people like us tell lies to keep our loved ones safe, if you understand what I mean. I know that I lie to people so that they don't know what is really going on in my life and so that they are not hurt by it. It can be upsetting but perhaps sometimes it is for the best. I mean I wouldn't want my little sisters to know that I'm one of the most screwed up people they'll ever know.
ReplyDeleteYou have to remember that sometimes there are things that you shouldn't lie about. It's hard to know when you can, and when you shouldn't.
Sorry for the ramble but it's something that gets to me too.
xx